Posts tagged ‘sleep’

January 29, 2017

2am in our new neighborhood

fast, here is defenestrated glass
and her shrill sudden screams;
here is me sitting bolt upright,
there came my curtailed dreams…

*

(to the front of the house.)

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August 11, 2015

Epiphany at a U Slam Event

To my astonishment
there was none—

people were content
with old formulas
and bad news.

The “best poet I know”
spoke there.

It was a real treat.

***

Knowing that,
I can sleep a lot, a lot easier.
Yawn.

July 10, 2015

Do We Ever Actually Sleep?

Entering new worlds to escape another
I woke up from a dream in a lonely bed.
Real life sat next to it on the nightstand,
in the early stretches, in “slept like a rock”
preparation for what’s to come. Today
was like any other, though different—shall
we double: it is shit and it is great. I would
cite Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, but
they are dead. I would cite Anton Chigurh,
but he is nowhere to be found. “They are.
It is.” Those statements defining the
day, the morning, the thrown pillows, drool
stained, and crumpled blankets with their cat
hair, are your shell, your cocoon exited.
They rest there, waiting for another moment
to bring adventure, where you fall into the
fold and escape this life to REM, to where
monsters and mistresses await, where gold
and garbage stay; past loved ones welcoming
you in boats, and in jest. That to this, this
to that. Don’t become unwrapped for awoken
reality hits full on hard. There fellow man
meets to never actually meet. We relate,
but never truly. Reaching for the water on
the dusty dresser top, cat at my feet, shades
drawn, another day to walk to the kitchen,
open the fridge, to make breakfast, marks
and tracks, to make me. I enter this world
from another. I wonder, do we ever actually
sleep? And then I wake from this dream.

October 2, 2013

Sleep

Blot out the sand from my eyes,

One finger at a time.

 

Remind me why we wake…

And have the day we take to date.

 

And say the things we’ve said

Run the thoughts from my head.

 

They run me through.

If you only knew.

They don’t notice you.

 

Dead until new.

Right here too.

 

Logic:

Equals belief.

 

Logic:

Equals avoid fools.

 

Logic:

Equals go to sleep.

 

Logic:

Equals the one right tool.

 

Another day.

Another day.

Another day.

 

What did she say?

I don’t remember, and I can’t ask her anymore.

 

We hope the sun will cut the haze, and then we hope for shade.

August 23, 2012

Sleep Apnea

If you want to see me, come see me-

A lot of people do.

 

Wake up, breakfast; another day in tattered shoes, and food.

Another day to not be rude.

Another day to choose.

 

Choices challenge…

 

My mind rooted to traffic.

Oh, the sights are graphic.

-The detailed movement of people, places, and things.

 

Stop-light…

 

Finding relaxation on idea, dismissing all fear.

 

And life…

 

Life sits on a balance; feast or famine.

Embraced or abandoned.

Picked-up or stranded.

 

We get along…

 

Did you get the cash transfer?

Oh, it doesn’t matter.

Plastered, drunk again, searching for answers to pastures and grandeur; to meeting loved ones in the hereafter.

 

What a life…

 

Yet, I sit with this coffee and this debt.

Breathing easy, calming-exercise to get the weight off my chest.

Half-spent in thought.

 

She says I must have done something bad in my past to wake from my sleep like that.

I tell her nothing.

-Don’t worry.

 

She says, “Yeah, I know you.”

“So why do you sleep with me?”

“It feels safe.”

 

Pink pigment, like piglet.

I detest, not embarrassed, but I rest when she rests without regret.

Hiding stress under her dress.

 

This mess is structured…

 

My eyes take it in.  

 

We just met and she is bent-

While I keep it straight forward.

 

No time to wonder.

As she nears the border.

 

***

 

In a state of stating a statement…

 

I woke to yawn.

 

 

 

May 17, 2012

The Unimaginable Event

*Hey Little Man!

How can you stand it?

Knowing, maybe not owning, the fact that I’ve planned this.

Lost control and now you sit damaged, Goddammit.

Exhausted and ravaged; lungs expanded and contracted.

Breathing, physically feeling disadvantaged.

Off course and underprepared, nothing, yet, about you is shrouded, stares glared.

Hey Little Man!

Lost all hope, pififul use of pity, did she get with thee?

Highly doubted.

Did she miss me?

She sits with me, you see?

She knows, she tells, she looks with eyes misty.

Challenging the witty, can’t even mention those who can’t hold a candle.

Blow. 

Hey Little Man!

Your girl is in love with life and freedom and, most of all, happiness.

She loves it half to death, and its real, care to wage a bet?

We lounge on clouds all week holding hands, secretly in our heads, peacefully, I suggest.

I won’t get on one knee.  I am silent as she chats you up on the phone. Finger to her lips, she says shhhhhhhhh.  Hands on her hips, she doesn’t mind, the feeling is mutual.  We don’t mind; a Nihilist’s attraction.  

Hey Little Man!

You are not little in stature, only emotionally, bulbous and plastered, physically underkept; natural disaster.

Fucking realistically, I apologize sort of for vocabulary brutality, but it is a reality that cannot be changed, such is the gravity of situation.

Fate.

Trashing those about you to elevate your ideals and appearance, maybe, I beg not, self-worth.

And you call them friends.

And they call you names.

Your high quality gene make-up is hanging forever on the Clearance rack, clear it to the back.

Me:  On track, and out of line, I guess.

You‘ve taken good care of your body.”  -Casino Royale

What about your mind?

Hey Little Man!

It is clear to see, I take the hint, I don’t want to be what exists in your stint.

I see you; purposefully wasted, date belated, presence faded.

And I still write.

And I still drink.

And I still do yoga.

And I still stay fit.

And I still meditate.

And I still expand my mind.

And I could go on.

And I am still here.

Know your enemy, you are my nemisis.

Where does that leave us?

And what with?

Inflict damage mentally and physically to the enemy; discouraging them softly with kindness and attrition. 

Hey Little Man!

Bastard to love.

Running to and fro, giving up everything to appear high above those you know.

Small mystery, you couldn’t accurately describe me precisely to my excitement and advantage.

Hint:  White-sort of red, 5’9ish , around 175, drunk and violent, with equanimity behind the eyelids.

(But if you want more description check out my other blogs:  dirtyterry.wordpress.com, Mindinversion.net, if you can manage.)

Small-time someone, I guess, from some big city vs. rural kid from a village sitting pretty with your sissy or your misses.  

It really depends on the day.

Hey Little Man!

The facade is over, the charade is up, the noose is out; loose til taught with your flesh’s touch.

Caring too much about the trivial I pardon to beg, and all this was found out when your girl made me ***s.

Carrying no hatred, aggression, or ill will.

No lie.

Pay attention.

I just thought of you and I know you think of me still, get the message?

“And I’m jumping in your bitch if she had a prayer.” -Lil Wayne

The most dangerous thing in the world is something you don’t understand, something that is so curiously out of your grasp.

Something so fixating and still, that is ubiquitous and never out of existence.

You think, you sit, you stare.

You lose yourself, you lose track of yourself and there is no real time to face the facts.

Figure out the facts and the details, be honest with yourself and worry about you and yours.

Stop focusing on others when there is so much to fix with yourself.

Truly.

Make yourself better and you will be making everyone else better.

I try.

*the events, people described, and times within this story are completely fictitious and made up, so let it go.

Poof!

***

I still sit up in the night to sleep talk.  She told me I stare into the dark corner.  I am pretty determined.