Posts tagged ‘mental-health’

December 13, 2016

i guess i am afraid too…

i think of our fast time
when and where the fear
holds us tight, when
we tell everyone
how afraid we
are about everything
and anything, everywhere,
so vocally, so knowingly,
and how our ways only
will most likely change that fear.
then i think
about a class that
i took a few weeks back,
one of self-defense, surely,
when and where the
instructor told us all
to not be afraid
of the dark, or not
defend ourselves if we are
and we find ourselves in it.
i mean, it seems so easy,
but the basement can
be really scary, the dark alley
can be truly terrifying,
the misunderstood politician
can seem as the devil incarnate.
and then i remember
looking to outside St Paul,
out on the cold streets,
crusted in white hard snow,
alight with daybreak,
that cold that is out there
in the sun is more
dangerous to us–30 minutes and
you are dead, and that
the summer clothes hanging
in my gloomy basement are
only as scary as i make
them myself, they blow in the wind,
they touch me like shadows,
they do what i tell them
to do in my head. this is what i fear:
the irrational fear of others.
so, i guess i am afraid too…

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October 26, 2014

A Toast to the Fake

Real is as real as the best fakery that could;
if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t work-
And by not working it’d prove no good.

When the fakest of fake, take the best from the most,
don’t sob in the shadows,
bask in the light,
and give them a toast!

Cheers!

October 17, 2014

Selfie Job

Another day of internet fame

Giving our selfies to the world

Loving fake realism abound

Bright as diamonds and pearls.

We could reflect on vanity

We could unpack and unfurl

This camera lens needs a model,

Please be the next Cover Girl.

Recent Art: The Truly Amazing

Handpicked; no filter, true—why wait?

These photos; we are scrolling pages,

Even on fine dinner dates.

Selfless as one must be

To take the perfect selfie

Relax and snap that picture;

Capture your inner luxury.

Becoming as real as we are,

Face to face with the stars.

October 7, 2014

Post-Wake

Another day to have,
To make-
Shower, eat, read, be -Exist…
Only after we wake.

September 10, 2014

Restless Weather

Dark clouds formed the sky as wind touched my face
My dead and gone ancestors have done this to me
Taking it in together, we stand tall hands linked
Expressionless, our emotion takes hold, carried-
Art appeared on the flesh; red lines raised
Trusting paths we’ve taken, as the towers climb
Reflecting the river waters as the seasons change
Showers reigned in testing the land, the crop, the life
High up a bulb flashes near birds so lofty fly
Inclement weather of remembrance, the rain
Drenched thru flesh, soulfully feeling inward pain
Eyes scan and absorb, what now, what more, what remains
Strength enough not to collapse, feels appropriate,
Apropos no more, prompt forecast coming belated,
Arousal of the air currents, moved, we were but shaken.

August 14, 2014

The World We Live In

Broken bones under flesh fortress

lacking compassion, brass tact,

watching misshapen clouds float by

lives ending every breath they pass.

 

Dine on colon cancer while

sipping cirrhosis of the liver.

Indulging just to indulge,

dropping bombs, “peace giver”.

 

Common sense factors in this;

complain about maligned malaise,

bike past full-up Mc Donald’s

those sick and confused sit for days.

 

People stunned, smoke and speak,

running once a week, not for health-

weakened knees, speckled disease

always giving up when in doubt.

 

I can’t, I have a mirror to answer to,

how does one explain that?

No need for a child right now,

I already own a cat.

August 4, 2014

Fond Memories

Stand in a pale room funeral home.
Dim yellow dances striped walls.
Close fake ferns and fresh-cut flowers.
Not into gleamed opaque casket.
My father sits, near his stepfather lay.
A soda can rests on stained wooden edge.
Here bright reflections of unnatural dye.
We have to pick him up, so heavy- and out.
Grab hand on cold pallbearer’s hold.
Navy Cadillac hearse backs to still box.
Pull with strained arms, struggle to balance.
Measure more densely than expected, hot day.
Hung-over and dried out, stiff- filled chemicals.
We get in the van and head to the American Legion.

Disbelief.

Family and a buffet line inside
We sit close and speak soft
A pastor comes up to talk
He says he is with god
I go and get seconds
Completely lost

My grandmother does not understand.

July 25, 2014

Stream-of-Conscience Free-Writing on Positive

Laugh at yourself more.
Make alternate plans.
Stop speaking in arguments.
Get out while you can.
Eclipse those bold around you.
Expand your mind like desert sand.
Excuse the ill-hearted.
Lie in the sun, get tan.
Be realistic less.
Find happiness more.
Search out your inner Self;
caress and appreciate its core.
Be happy for what you have.
Never attempt to settle the score;
forgive and forget-
because what’s life for?
Realize you are always wrong,
even if you “know” you are right.
Become a better person,
this can happen over night
Be the nicest human being,
not some stuck-up snob.
Tell the government to end wars,
by dropping photo-bombs.
Shake hands with strangers,
meet your new friends.
In the end there is nothing to lose,
so start a new trend.
Open your eyes to adversity.
direct those who can’t.
Try the best to be yourself.
Try your best to understand.
Always exercise patience.
Always exercise. Period.
Never stop learning and reading.
Never stop being weird my friend.
Today is right now.
Yesterday is gone.
Listen to sweet birds singing your song.
Rainbows happen in storms.
Sun is better when it rains.
How good do you feel?
For that you can thank pain.
Understand there is no certainty,
from one moment to the next.
So do everything you can,
be passionate- do your best.

July 13, 2014

Sociopolitical

Sociopolitical,
as lipstick and licorice;
kiss with the tongue,
hard feelings then diminish.

We won’t mention that again.

She said she’s always fine,
the next week she died.

I have the text to prove it.

-Found her along a country roadside
with holes and blood and mud.
The Sunday newspaper said it as
a matter of fact- Just. Like. That.

We had this one class together…
-Fremdsprachen, Deutsch.

Who writes that shit anyway?
It can’t be real-

Those papers…

A life that lacks is labeled as that.
A life on track is labeled as that.

Hands tied, for gosh sakes!
Bright white lines,
Coldest milk shake,
I was on Valium so I don’t remember that day- anyway.

Then the poetry reading was over…
So was everything else-

No apprehension
No hesitation.

What’s tension?
We mention:

Now-a-days,
A lifetime away,
Full of choices
Did you hear them voices?

And you thought for a walk.
And you thought for a talk.
And you made art with chalk
that did not last so long.

-Some cloudy milk transparency.

But that was all you did,
then you slept-

after the sun had left.

***

Also, danke schön Pakistan.
Story: A patron puts one hundred-dollar bills inside of the books he returns only to promote reading.

July 1, 2014

The Waiting Game

The Waiting Game,

To lose a loved one is a waiting game;
You are given a time to sit and think and wait.

There is no end to the sorrow you will sustain,
Only adding numbers to the day they went away.

I had helped a girlfriend out in the past, in ways.
Empathy, she had gone through about the same.

She called me in the morning to explain:
Over the months the only thing that grows is pain.

Memories remain
Memories remain

Until they fade…
And that is what you have, this cruel waiting game.

It is as slow as the streets of L.A., and cuts as deep as the Mariana Trench.