i am either
Midwestern Poetry, By Terry Scott Niebeling
i am either
day, and say:
There is no fix for it, besides outright
quitting. And how many people will do
that? They don’t care to, you know. When
they get upset like any person here, they
think they want to give up, but they don’t,
really. They can’t bring themselves to
admit they’re critics, or that judgement’s
got them pegged. They believe they can
give it and take it fair — so they give it.
If they do stop, out of shame or awareness,
they go at once into such a state of
depression and shock that they become
inaudible. They are lost of thought, and
feel sure enough of themselves to be able
to start assessing, promising objectivity,
or straight realism, and — yeah, then it
becomes the same old play over again.
“If you can’t please yourself, who can?” -Ma
In the morning I start planning,
by the time I am done it is mid-afternoon.
I find that I have all things figured out,
in finding that happiness is without.
When I have specific plans completed,
seen through to fruition, I can only hope for one thing:
that I still feel as good as I do when I just open my eyes,
young, in love, and surrounded by it-
when I just walk outside—lost and uncaring,
when I do the first thing that comes to mind, even today,
now, to escape. I hope to still feel as good as I do right now,
with no excess in what I have about me, and there, no excuses,
because none of those institutions will change anything, ever.
Not one. They only complicate and muck up straightforward.
Fuck plans. It is how you feel when you feel you in the end.
I hope to feel as good as I do when I wake up
in the morning, before I start planning.
A pair of eyes stare at the “problem”.
A single mind labels, calculates, and retains.
A pair of hands do nothing for meaningful progress.
Another group of “activists” yell: change!, change!, change!
Some wrong is right, some right is wrong;
the only matter is who sings the song.
I once met this “poet”,
He hadn’t written a single word—
It’s been years since then,
He bears the same rank and title.