you know what?
flowers do matter.
i bought no flowers,
i had no money,
about that and how it worked…
each year when we were little,
my dad would send flowers
to me and my sisters
at the time
i found it odd to get roses
from my dad…
my sister reminded me of this
in a text.
i said yes.
thought about consumerism and cards
and how they weren’t flowers.
how i thought flowers
i told her i missed him.
then i thought about it
and how i should take some flowers
to his grave.
you know what?
sunday, when candles burn,
when tired rugs sleep,
when time does nothing
but crawl forward
to the coming future,
when tomorrow is another monday,
much disliked, much despised,
and talk is always so drably
forlorn– such a tragedy.
this is when and how
i beg for ice 9,
i pray for a time machine
to instill religion in me better,
to make sunday slow sabbath.
i could smile longer.
i could be more kind.
i have faith in hope and fate
on this dark dreary sunday,
when i think of new seasons
as plasticed windows droop.
o’ fecund smell of
dew so ubiquitous,
our door frames,
and light shines thru
as at grandma’s
on sunday afternoons
years ago routinely,
as was morning broken
in a few stained pews,
i thought hard about
god and death
and how it didn’t
dad would have
felt the same, i know,
to ask him that question,
one day not like this,
one day never.
the sun shines different
it looks the same
as it did when our late
loved ones walked
this spinning globe.
now to imagine
for it no longer exists;
now to see
a face that no
longer is. now we
take new-growth spring
absent our others.
i am here
Shades of the trees toward western skies rest a cool shadow
on a once brilliant face,
where the lacquer for paint
Smack of fuzzed tennis balls hurled in the wind,
zipping with bugs in
a St. Paul end-summer August warm.
Reflections and shadows hung on until it was time
to go back home—
just after supper and just before
candlelight vigils and auto headlamps scans rushed
into closed windows and about vacant streets.
the world come to close another day,
morning would be the same except reverse
on those tired night dweller’s eyes.
A can was crushed and we biked back
to SE through mosquitoes.
Entering new worlds to escape another
I woke up from a dream in a lonely bed.
Real life sat next to it on the nightstand,
in the early stretches, in “slept like a rock”
preparation for what’s to come. Today
was like any other, though different—shall
we double: it is shit and it is great. I would
cite Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, but
they are dead. I would cite Anton Chigurh,
but he is nowhere to be found. “They are.
It is.” Those statements defining the
day, the morning, the thrown pillows, drool
stained, and crumpled blankets with their cat
hair, are your shell, your cocoon exited.
They rest there, waiting for another moment
to bring adventure, where you fall into the
fold and escape this life to REM, to where
monsters and mistresses await, where gold
and garbage stay; past loved ones welcoming
you in boats, and in jest. That to this, this
to that. Don’t become unwrapped for awoken
reality hits full on hard. There fellow man
meets to never actually meet. We relate,
but never truly. Reaching for the water on
the dusty dresser top, cat at my feet, shades
drawn, another day to walk to the kitchen,
open the fridge, to make breakfast, marks
and tracks, to make me. I enter this world
from another. I wonder, do we ever actually
sleep? And then I wake from this dream.