Archive for ‘Bukowski’

July 7, 2017

hands foot and mouth disease

… yeah, being a dad you see things,
saw hands foot and mouth disease again
from the other end, i say this now
but when i was 17 years-old i got it too:
sister taylor was an infant
she had it at the time and my hands turned
to blisters that couldnt pop with knives
feet turned to pins and needles and nettles
and things that couldnt pocked hot and roiled
something not nice at all
the doctor said, yeap hands foot and mouth
like yeap, i had HIV in 2007 and it was positive
and then it was false positive and gone
and my head is still living with the idea of dying
living with this is not a medical facility
living with the idea that labels changed me then
now my son has hands foot and mouth disease
like its a problem but i can relate
O’ you havent had it? you got it easy
and now he is teething to top it all off in twilight
i love sleep for not having it
i love having someone like me growing up
love is a beautiful thing
Plato said a grave disease of the mind
now look at my appendages

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December 12, 2016

spring break in canada

one time, jess and i drove to canada
in a small chevy truck. we stayed along
lake superior and its blowing winds. thought
cedar greens would snap. got to tofte at

about 8:35pm, couldn’t see the site.
a ranger called that morning told me they plowed it.
slept on hard rock ground, no foam mattress.
woke up found we were at the shoreline,

read a death in venice. made coffee,
warmed fingers, walked in snow. thought
of my dad and how it was 70 in the cities.
we drove north, had pizza at sven and ole’s;

i had a beer, got in the truck; then crossed
the border past an endless sea of pine, rocks,
and blue water mass. got stopped, wouldn’t
let us through. stayed at an airnb…

won loonies at some casino, tipped very well.
everyone asked us why we traveled north for spring break.
drank bulleit rye in a sauna and turned into a jerk.
got lost. got deals at target. watched

forensic files, ate pancakes, and we became
international travelers; drove to another country.
just like that, for a thought. and i don’t
know, thought i would recount that situation.

it was good. crossing borders, it was nice
seeing things outside of an america lens.

July 26, 2016

dreams grow underground

one time, i had a dream
about thought, and then
i forgot. it was about
how everyone made up
excuses to why they were
wronged, and how i got
stuck in a tunnel under
the city; it was full of
graffiti, and smelled of
fish, and i floated on a
boat out into whatever
way the river carried me
while others watched their
screens so closely to
not miss me in the boat
just floating on by in
whatever wronged manner
i had been exposed to:
something about what i
looked like and attitude.
something about dad & god.
then i woke to beepings.
then i woke up to glare.

February 23, 2016

I don’t usually take the bus home, but when I do…

Dim lights fading
as dim feeling,
somewhere,
I am Northeast,
viewing dark
clothed bus seats.
Somewhere wet,
floors and smells.
Hello book,
hello patience,
hello fading sunrays,
hello girl on a bike,
now, inside I wait.
Now, you go,
as I do likewise too.
Hello to hear
a sharp beep
in a moving bus
ringing through.
To get groceries,
to give no fucks,
in spoiled dusk.
How dim it is—it was,
Hanging like this:
And the veiled gone sun
as though I am too,
not here but,
still purgatory…
still full of layered blues,
and hollowed cold,
and late afternoon mist.
Going home, to
just check off lists,
going home I sit.

February 15, 2016

some ideas on a city block

feigned
surprise,
new regret
and
old ideas.

walking
sick
down
hennepin.

sure,
i’ve been
insane,
but
that brick

wall
wins against
a head
9 out
of 10
times.

sure,
i knew
your name
once,

but now
i’ve
seem to’ve
forgot.

January 9, 2016

Realism in 4 Sentences

the 1st sentence:
you make it
what it truly is.
and then two:
nothing else
in this big-small
city matters,
not even the
bold peripheral
blatherings: blah,
blah, blah, blah…
or (3): the incessant
boring doldrums
of certain choice
modern artistry.
last (4) sentence:
when will your
actions reflect
this sentiment?

December 7, 2015

today, december 7th

i remember december 7th
came like a cold shower
wrapped in an old
towel, had me pacing
turning a radio dial
and wiping up spilt coffee.
life before 8 am;
life like this, get familiar.
a new name on the streets,
ignored, just another person.
now the machine barks,
her buzzer is buzzing,
and i am spread
just stretching it out
on the speckled floor,
a lamp lights this scene
though it is early day,
december 7th, anything can
happen.  i know this,
and wait for it, like getting
ready is an after thought,
and being unprepared
is exactly out of line.
the 7th day of december,
one in a gregorian sequence,
marked by boxes x-ed out
and a circle on a wall with arms.
i am here at this juncture,
watching, remembering,
taking notes, and testing the water.

November 30, 2015

Simple Satisfaction

Once I thought I would try something new.
It garnered no notice and nothing happened.
I felt good because I was doing what I loved.
It didn’t matter about recognition in the end.

November 17, 2015

Each Day Now

each day now,
when you’re
recounting
the situations
that you have
been through,

and notifications
and calls
and scrolls
and texts
and scheduled times
and google searches
and how it holds,

from this what you’ve assessed,

remember
your phone could
have died each day now…

so why mourn?

October 13, 2015

growing old

i would open yawn
but i am too tired,
i would full stretch
but i can’t move;
this cold morning
on this stiff floor
has me wondering
reaching, searching–
an aging body,
stuck in this time,
wholly consumed.